Not too long ago, I went to a
Barnes & Noble store to buy a book for a friend. When I got to the counter to pay, I asked the
bookseller to please giftwrap the book.
He asked me which wrapping paper I wanted and after I picked it out, he
proceeded to wrap it and pleasantly tried to make “small talk” by asking me,
“Is it a present for somebody?”
Now before I go any further, I
just want to point out that I have a tendency to be somewhat sarcastic,
bordering on obnoxious, and it’s gotten me into trouble over the years – with family,
friends, women, employers, strangers, you name it. Sometimes, I can’t help it. I’ll find myself in a situation where
something happens (either to me or someone around me), or somebody says
something that seems to invite a comment, and before I know it, the words come
flying out. However, sometimes the tone
comes across wrong and the person (or persons) may feel insulted (admittedly,
in a few cases, this was the intent – but those comebacks are usually reserved…well,
for assholes quite frankly).
There are moments when I’m trying
to be funny – and yes, there is such a thing as trying too hard and it’s always
obvious and that’s when I should just shut the hell up. I mean, if you have to
try that hard to come up with a punch-line or witty comeback, then you should
just let it go. Besides, it won’t be
long before another opportunity presents itself. I think that a lot of people do sometimes try
too hard and it all comes from the same place - that cringing time of the day
or night when the perfect (at least, perfect to you) comeback springs to mind
but the moment has already passed and you wish you had said it then. I think that people hate those moments so much
that they wind up trying too hard other times.
See with me, I grew up watching
comedy classics. Performers like George
Burns, Milton Berle, Bob Hope, Abbott & Costello, the Marx Brothers
(Groucho in particular), just to name a few, always had me glued to the TV when
they were on. I guess because they made
me laugh so much, I admired them and wanted to emulate them. Of course as I got older, I realized that
what I was watching 1) couldn’t really be duplicated, and 2) probably shouldn’t
be. While there are many stories of these
performers sometimes reacting comically to a real-life situation (one of my
favorites is when Groucho Marx was in a store and a couple approached him and
told him how much they loved watching him insult people and the husband asked
if Groucho would insult his wife. Without missing a beat, Groucho said, “Sir I’m
surprised at you, with a wife like that you ought to be able to come up with
your own insults.”), not everyone appreciates that kind of humor. In a movie or TV show, people choose and pay
money to watch a particular individual or group make them laugh. In real life, most people just want to get
through their day without having to deal with a lot of smart ass comments.
But again, sometimes I can’t help
it and like I wrote before, it has gotten me into trouble. Once, for example, I was dating a girl who
really had a passion for animals (clearly, since she was dating me – see what I
mean? Even I’m not immune) and couldn’t stand people who hunted for
sport. I mentioned that I have family
members who actually do hunt and we eat what they catch. She took great offense to this revelation and
said, “Well, if I ever meet them, I’m gonna give them a piece of my mind!” I replied, “Are you sure you can spare it?” Strangely, she never returned my calls after
that.
So it is something that I’m aware
of and something that I’m working on. I
do actually try to catch myself before saying something that really isn’t
necessary and kind of only serves to amuse me.
After all, you really need to tailor your conversation to your audience
and surroundings. Even if you are trying
to make someone laugh, you still need to be aware of that in order for it to
work. When I was younger, some former
employers had told me that I should be more “mindful about the wise-cracks” and
for the most part, I have been while at work (of course I’ve slipped now and
then, but I do make the effort). Outside
the workplace is another story, but again, it depends where I am. I have learned that it’s one thing to joke
around like that with your family, friends or others who have known you for a
while, it’s quite another when it’s just some kid trying to do his/her job and
isn’t getting paid nearly enough to put up with or deal with some (slightly
bitter) smart-ass who’s watched way too many Marx Brothers movies; and I’m
aware that sometimes, it really does get old and played out. So when this polite Barnes & Noble
bookseller asked if the book I bought and had asked him to wrap was a present
for someone, I said, “No, I want to surprise myself with it later.”
It’s a work in progress.
No comments:
Post a Comment